Today will officially mark 6 months since I have seen my Mom.. and I can feel it. For some reason, I feel that their is a huge piece of me that is gone, and with her. I miss our morning coffees, making dinners together, renting movies and staying in our pajamas all day long, hash browns on sunday mornings, sun tanning on the deck, sitting in chapters and looking at books all afternoon, taking drives to banff and listening to Snow Patrol on repeat, watching her cook and trying new recipes, and most importantly.. hugging her and being in the same room as her. Life has ultimately changed since she chose to make the move, and it can be so difficult to keep moving with my own life, when she is not there beside me. Ever since the holidays, my mind has been shaped a little differently.. do I want to sacrifice my close relationships for a dream job? I guess their not exactly sacrifices.. but definitely sacrificing the distance. Friends and Family are our stability as individuals.. and without them, we don't have much else. Sometimes I just wish it was 2009 again. I know I need to keep moving, stay strong, and persevere, but sometimes I wonder if what I want is a fantasy, and not exactly reality? Can all of our wildest dreams become a reality? I feel so in between.
Love always and forever.