I think my mind needs to slow down. All of a sudden I feel this tremendous amount of anxiety about my career and life and I am trying to figure out how to deal. Yesterday, a nice big ass cup of reality hit me... and I think for the first time I realized that I am no longer part of the Toronto bubble anymore. I haven't felt that much weight pressed against me in such a long time. It's hard, because on one hand I am so incredibly thankful for the balance of family and friends that I've been longing to have again, but on the other hand, I am beyond displaced in this city. I'm not quite sure yet what my duty is, and I hate not knowing. The past two years have been mapped out by me, and I've always been able to see what lies ahead, and know what opportunities to grasp with both hands. Whereas here, I don't exactly know what or which route to take? Not to mention, but there is much limited opportunities here, than anywhere else. Am I stubborn? Of course! And maybe I need to realize or change my thinking, so that I stop comparing everything to a city that Calgary may not ever be? Or! Maybe I just don't choose to settle, and do things my way. Meaning, I start my own business, and bring what I've learned in Toronto to Calgary. I know I need to enjoy the process and trust, but I like things done in "snaps", and maybe that is my lesson right there? I once was always on my own, and my independence was my key to success. Toronto gave me the wisdom to know what the real world is really all about, how to be alone, and make it on your own. Calling your own shots is one of the most liberating things you can possibly do in life. No fear- just moving forward, not giving a shit what anybody thinks. Doing what you have to do, always. I think the hard part for me now, is understanding why it happened, and letting it go or allowing it to be my roots.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Monday, August 20, 2012
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Maybe I'm running, who knows. Or maybe everything has come at me all at once, in one single moment. My past and my future have collided, and now I can't see.
My heart is in my chest.
No matter what I choose to do, my dreams always somehow come back to catch me again.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
I am such a sucker for Neutrals and Khaki's. With Spring on the verge of being here, I am already getting more inspired to collect more basic pieces to my Wardrobe. I have become a full fledged lover of the understated look. Rugged and Chic, all at the same time!
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
My Mother is one of the deepest souls I know. She is beyond kind, empathetic, optimistic, and holds this light within her. A year ago, her and I were having a deep conversation about life, conformity, and how culturally people all live differently. There is something hugely to be said about this, and how we as individuals are the quickest to judge one another about what the "right" way of living really is- when really, I don't know if we even have it right. I believe it is so important to never live beyond your means. Simply have less, and do more. Making connections with others who live a completely opposite life than your own, was almost mind blowing. Being around those who did not feel the influence of materialism, vanity, envy, or the need to "have it all" was almost refreshing, and a lesson for myself. Living day by day, and making life simply about providing for those you love, and spending time with them while doing it. I feel like the world plays such an emphasis on always "needing more", without recognizing what it is that we already have, and being grateful for it. While my Mother and I continued talking, she paused, and grabbed this giant book of all her inspirations and pieces of writing. She flipped through the book to get to a short story that she insisted I read. Here I thought it was going to be another cliche inspirational quote, but instead it completely caught me off guard, and almost reshaped my thinking. Ever since I read that story, I've felt this shift in my life, and the change. I never thought a piece of writing would ever hold such symbolism to my life- in so many different ways. Take a moment, and have a read!
The Mexican fishermanAn American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
The Mexican replied, "only a little while."
The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish?
The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs.
The American then asked, "but what do you do with the rest of your time?"
The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life."
The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."
The Mexican fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?"
To which the American replied, "15-20 years."
"But what then?"
The American laughed and said that's the best part. "When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."
"Millions.. Then what?"
The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."
Here's the secret.. Biotin.
This little magic Vitamin has been known to not only help improve Cardiovascular Health, maintain Blood Sugar Levels, but also! Help improve your Hair's health. With the way the trends have been headed, long luscious locks have been the "it girl" look. Packed with fatty acids, B7, and Gluconeogeneisus, this might be exactly what the Doc ordered! Hair health has such an impact and effect on your total internal health, and when your not completely taking care of yourself, things like Hair, Nails, and Skin are compensated. This stuff is very effective, and just might do the trick! Of course combined with a healthy diet, and stress free world. Worth every penny.
Thursday, May 17, 2012